Not Titled

nevver: The street Tom Waits grew up on

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 03:37:00 -0400

nevver:

The street Tom Waits grew up on

fuckyeahsociologystudentsheep:

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:39:12 -0400

fuckyeahsociologystudentsheep:

Catch 22 and Double Negatives

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 10:56:41 -0500

I feel shitty enough to not want to go to class, but not shitty enough to not feel guilty about not going.

OMG! DO WANT!

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 18:00:33 -0500

OMG! DO WANT!

Kiwis...

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 00:19:48 -0500

Are delicious, but sometimes they make my mouth hurt and my belly groan “ahh that was sour and acidic and it feels funny!” But I’d say they’re worth the price of admission. I like the seedy bites the best. And I like scooping them out of their furry skin with a spoon. They’re so ugly outside, but pretty inside. Like those dull rocks that you smash with hammers to find that they hold perfect purple crystals. What are they called? Geodes.

I just saw Howl tonight. Liked it a lot. I think I would have a hard time reading Howl on paper- I think it’s really meant to be heard. And I loved the animations that accompanied the reading. I would like to see it again stoned.

The walk home was a little treacherous. Sidewalks are slick and the rain dripped off my nose. And my brown bag of donuts got soaked. I fear that my breakfast may be soggy tomorrow. Good thing I have kiwis.

Queer

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 03:27:10 -0500

I’m a sucker for girls with short hair. Emma Watson’s haircut= big crush.

Speaking of girl crushes, I really want to date/have sexy-times with women more. I’m in a relationship with a guy, but I can’t help but long for women. I wish poly relationships were easier to navigate and more acceptable. And that being bisexual were more of a legitimate option. I don’t even like the term “bisexual” because I find it to constricting. I don’t like the gender binary system, so why would I define my sexuality based on it? Because “pansexual” is too hard to explain on a daily basis. Also, by looking at me no one considers that I’m anything but straight. It sucks. And it makes me want to wear rainbows and get facial piercings so people get the idea, but that isn’t really my style. Sometimes I wish I went to an all girls’ college so that lesbianism would be normal and no one would be surprised at my sexuality. But I also really like guys, and I would be unhappy if I didn’t have that option available to me.

Basically, I feel queer but I don’t fit in with the culture. And I feel excluded because of my heterosexual appearance. But I don’t even want that appearance, I just have it. Funny, cause in high school people thought I was a dyke, and I didn’t.

With my freeze-ray I will

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 02:51:43 -0500

stop. The world.

Well I made it through finals week. My feminism paper ended up being shorter than it was supposed to be and probably shitty, but my professor gave me an A anyway. I guess she liked me. And my Organic and Neurogenic Language Disorder exam was fucking hard, but I did surprisingly well on it. 3.7 for the semester. Word.

Now I’m on break. Haven’t done applications yet. I am dreading it so much. I’m so afraid of not getting into grad school that I don’t even want to apply. But that’s silly and I have to apply. I don’t know what I’ll do though if I don’t get in anywhere. I don’t think I could handle living at home, and I don’t have the money to move out. I just really want to have a job already and be able to afford life.

I wish the world would stop for a minute so I could just enjoy a break for real. I don’t like how the new semester is looming in the near future, and I feel guilty all the time for not working on applications. I just want it all to go away and have a real vacation.

Finals Week

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 19:27:11 -0500

Things going on:

Trying to write a 12 page feminism paper and failing miserably.
I’m both excited and dreading Christmas break because I love the holidays but I also have to finish grad school applications.
I have to pee.
I also want snacks.
I kind of want to ask the guy next to me to watch my shit while I go take care of peeing and snack acquisition, but I don’t want to bother him and that’s awkward.
I kiiiind of want to get laid.
I don’t know what’s worse: this paper or the studying of organic and neurogenic communication disorders that I have to do as soon as I finish my paper.
I hate my apartment and I want to move out.
FML

I'd rather be sleeping

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 02:46:20 -0400

This might be the first time in a month that I’ve been awake past 2 am. So weird, because I’m usually essentially nocturnal. Lately though I’ve been very reasonable with my bedtime. Not sure why. I think I’ve changed a lot recently.

I like tomatoes.

I don’t listen to music very much.

I don’t share a lot of personal things with others. I would rather not talk about them.

I wear boy’s deodorant most of the time.

I almost never sign into AIM.

I would rather hang out with my parents than most people.

I’ve outgrown a lot of my friends and I don’t think I’m that sad about it.

I want to settle down with one person in particular for a while. This is a first.

I’m not sad about moving onto something new and leaving other things behing- I’m ready for it.

One thing that hasn’t changed is that I’m on the A-team of Procrastinators. And that’s the only reason I’m awake now anyway. So ima get to finishing this paper.

I’m real sick of college. Thinking of having 2 more years of grad school is… daunting....

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 01:49:56 -0400

I’m real sick of college. Thinking of having 2 more years of grad school is… daunting. Maybe I’m just sick of this particular college town, which is likely. But still… I don’t know how I want my life to be. Today someone legitimately asked me where I saw myself in the next few years, and past my necessary goals of finishing school and having a clinical fellowship to become certified, I have no idea. Do I want to live with someone? My boyfriend? Where do I want to live? Near my family? On this side of the country? In this country at all? I dunno. Let’s just finish this semester first. None of this five-year-plan crazy talk.

Get to know me

Stress

Tue, 07 Sep 2010 21:48:35 -0400

Thinking about applying to and picking grad schools and trying to schedule the GREs makes me want to curl into a ball and cry. I think I’m ready to be a real person and not have to jump through these hurdles of academia anymore. : (

You know you need to re-evaluate life when...

Sun, 05 Sep 2010 18:33:26 -0400

…you try to organize your room and you find a cosmetics bag full of chocolate, jolly ranchers, and tampons. Lost cause.

Oops I was drunk.

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 02:00:00 -0400

Sorry about that completely over dramatic last post. I was drunk and sad. It happens. Incase you were worried, we’re still together. Skype is a great invention, and cars still exist, so… it’s working out so far. Grad school is not for a little while, and I’m ignoring that anyway.

I think maybe I’ll start posting more often and try to meet tumblr people. But I’ve decided that I want this to be anonymous. That way I can be completely honest. Don’t worry- I won’t take it as an excuse to be a huge asshole like so many people do with the security of the faceless interwebs.

Well I’m just not the woman I used to be- I used to stay awake till 5 am regularly and only go to sleep because I felt like I should. Now It’s 2 am and I’m exhausted and appalled at my late bedtime. Those 21 years are taking their toll I guess.

Change is Hard

Sat, 07 Aug 2010 02:18:00 -0400

I realize that probably about zero people read this. That’s okay, because I’m not really writing for anyone other than myself. But I would appreciate input if any strangers stumble upon this.

Today my love moved away. Only 3 hours away, but still away. After spending 5 months apart from one another with an ocean in between us this shouldn’t be a big deal, but it seems even worse. I think it’s because there is no foreseeable future in which we will both be living in the same state. I’m about to finish up my undergraduate degree in Pennsylvania while he interns in New Jersey. Then I plan on going to the West Coast for grad school while he works who-knows-where. I want so badly to ask him to stay with me, but I can’t imagine committing to anything so important, so it seems selfish to ask. I don’t know why I love him so much. If I had to choose what my type would be, he might not fit the description. But I love everything about him. He’s silly and fun and one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. He’s not quite as bookish as I am, but he understands things that I never will, and I admire him for it. His kisses are goofy but I miss them already, only having gone 7 hours without one. I’m afraid of cheating myself out of new opportunities to meet people, but I hardly want to when I think of him.

I feel ridiculous, but in my head I imagine 2 possibilities: I marry him or someone else. In my imagination if I marry someone else I just think of myself secretly loving him and missing him without my partner’s knowledge. Silly. Because marriage is so clearly years away from me. But far-sightedness is just part of my nature.

Love hurts. I’m lonely. I used to hate sleeping with others, but now my bed feels cold and alone. I miss him.

PB&P

Sun, 30 May 2010 19:52:37 -0400

Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches: So. Delicious.

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

Rain, rain, don't go away

Sun, 30 May 2010 11:17:00 -0400

Sunny days are great for going outside, but if it were always sunny and nice, when would you sit inside pantless all day long watching movies or playing cards without feeling guilty for not enjoying the sun? And what about making out in the rain? What about rainbows? Thunderstorms? And tell me, what would be the setting for the climax of a scary movie if there were no such thing as rain.

I feel an odd compulsion to agree with the complaints of other about the weather, even when it doesn’t bother me. Today it’s been pouring, and God damn it (!) I’m enjoying it!

Although I’m not sure what subject matter I will focus on...

Sat, 29 May 2010 19:11:09 -0400

Although I’m not sure what subject matter I will focus on here, Tom Waits will inevitably come up oh say… all the time. I’ll start with this- not my favorite song of his, but my tumblr is it’s namesake, so it’s a fitting first upload. And who doesn’t love Alice in Wonderland?

Well hello there tumblr. Nice to meet you. Why did I start this… I’m not sure. I...

Sat, 29 May 2010 18:54:36 -0400

Well hello there tumblr. Nice to meet you.

Why did I start this… I’m not sure. I don’t even know if I want this to be anonymous or not. Or what I want to talk about. Maybe I’m looking for something else on the internet to distract me from my real-life-duties. This is likely.

I’m usually disgusted at people sharing details about themselves on the internet. That kind of attention whoring is very bothersome. I hope I’m not getting sucked into it. I guess we’ll see.

I remember having a xanga in middle school and always writing about what I did that day or how school was or hanging out with my friends. I suppose that was therapeutic in a way, kind of like keeping a diary.

So why don’t I just keep a diary?

Too much trouble to find pens and paper I suppose. And not narcissistic enough.